I woke up. It wasn’t any different than anyone else. Though I don’t know how many people wake up at two thirty eight a.m. every night. Not that exciting really.
I’d already put my glasses and television on. Some light and vision to break the darkness.
“I have to pee.”
Stand up. Walk across the room. Open door. Through door. Walk down hall. Turn right. Open door. Walk in. Penis out. Penis pointed. Urine Expelling. Look at mirror. Shake Penis. Step to the left.
Grab Toothbrush. Push hair slightly left. Grab tube. Paste to Brush. Clean teeth. Spit. Water. Spit. Toothbrush back.
Cream on hand. Then to face. Pick up Razor. Turn on faucet. Pull nozzle. Hot water fills. Shave. Rinse. Shave. Rinse. Pull skin. Shave. Ouch. Blood. Shave. Lift chin. Shave. Rinse. Razor back. Hands in water. Then to face. Towel of holder. Face clean. Toilet paper pieces. On left cheek. Just under chin. By right ear.
Push nozzle. Water leaves. Whirl Pool.
Comb. Gel in hands. Look in mirror. Comb through hair. Comb. Comb. Slight hair lift. Comb. Look in
mirror.
“Well task one is complete.”
I’m not sure exactly what I’m getting ready for. I’m not sure why I do too much of anything really. But the tasks of the day tell us that they need done. But here I am listening to the silence of …. Well silence.
Stare at shower. Give up thought. Walk back to hallway. Head back to room. Closet. Pull string. Light comes on. Color arranged. Pinstripe button up. Turn around. Pull top drawer out. Grab underwear. Socks. White T. On. On. On. Pull out third drawer. Black slacks. On. Toss button up on. Button from bottom. Tuck in.
“Ties. Ties. Where are my… ah.”
Black tie. Snake around neck. Measure. Wrap. Twist. Wrap. Through. Grab knot. Raise. Complete.
I think that the world is turning faster every day. I don’t believe that the sun is real anymore. Just darkness for years. Or months. Or decades. I can’t remember anymore.
It’s beautiful.
Three steps. Turn about face. Right foot in. Step up. Left foot in. About face. Walk out door. Through Living room. Into kitchen. Open fridge. Grab beer. Shake up. Open drawer. Snag steak knife. Prick hole. Shot gunned. Knife in pocket.
They say the breakfast is for champions. I think that’s a line of shit. I haven’t ate breakfast in six years. I’ve drank two thousand one hundred and ninety of them and I’m still headed strong.
I never know what’s on my agenda exactly, but I do know I have plenty of time left to figure it out.
“Decide. Decide. Choose.”
Turn around. Walk out side door. To sidewalk. Feet follow each other. One point three miles. Look left. Grab door handle. Open door. Step into room.
“Good evening.”
“Evening.”
Walk directly to counter.
“What can I get ya?”
“I’d like a pack of cigarettes.”
“Alright.. Which kind?”
“What do most people smoke?”
“Hm… Winston lights is my top seller. You ain’t never smoked?”
“No sir.”
“It’s a bad habit to start.”
“That’s what I hear.”
“Well son, you want’m?”
“Yes sir.”
“Well it’ll be four eighty seven. Anything else tonight?”
Extend hand. Take pack of cigarettes.
“Hmm… how much are scratch offs?”
“Depends. Most of’m’s a dollar.”
“Well give me a random one.”
“You’re a peculiar one ain’t ya?”
“I’m not quite sure.”
“Well how’s this’d suit ya?”
Eyes look at small card. Read. Mega thousands. Take from old man’s hand. Look up. Smile.
“Never buying one. I suppose this is fine.”
“Anything else?”
“I’ll need a lighter.”
“I suppose ya would.”
Smile.
“Well with the cigarettes, the lotto ticket, and the lighter. That’ll be seven dollars and eighteen cents for ya.”
Reach in pocket. Pull out money. Spread out. Find ten. Pull from other bills. Hand to old man. Smile.
“You keep that sir. And thank you for choices.”
“Thank ya son. You have a good night now.”
“You have a better one.”
About face. Out door. Pull off cellophane. Rip off foil. Toss in trash. To lips. Thumb to switch. Flops to button. Fire comes out. Stick lit. Drag. Inhale. Heaven.
No one seems like human beings anymore. It feels like something is keeping a shadow on me. In the distance. Like it’s afraid to show me what it is. Like I’ve been all these places before. I mean I have. But it seems like I was here before I was.
I’ve never robbed a house or killed anyone. Never really thought about it. But now I think I could and would. So I have to try to do other things. Other things I’ve never done before.
“I carry the weight of a thousand victims and yet, I am but one.”
They say that a man once walked the earth claiming he was the son of god. I read a book about it. I’ve heard people speak about it in the twenty four hour diners. They’ve invited me into their conversations. I’ve invited them into mine. They generally stop talking to me. I don’t understand them. But I understand them.
Cigarette out. Placed on ashtray. Top of trash can. Another to lips. Feet walk. One point three miles. Eyes up. Door open?
“I don’t remember leaving the door open.”
Walk in. Look around. Kitchen empty. Walk. Living room empty. Walk. Hallway empty. Noise to left.
“Hello?”
Noise louder. Bedroom door swing open. Strikes me. Fall to hallway floor. Look up. Barrel in face. Noise.
“Don’t you move mothafucka!”
“Not moving sir.”
“How much money you got bitch?!”
“In pocket. Front Left.”
“Get it Nigga, I ain’t reaching in yo pants.”
Left Hand moves. Fingers slide in pants. Grabs on. Right hand swings. Smacks gun. Knife in throat. Man falls to hallway floor. Choking noise. I stand up. Kick gun. Slides into living room. Walk. Grab phone. Push three numbers. Rings.
“Nine One One emergency.”
“Hello mamm. I just stabbed an intruder with a steak knife in the throat.”
“Is the intruder dead?”
“Hold on, I’ll ask.” :Pause: “He is gargling.”
“What is your address sir?”
“Fourteen Emerson Court, Millsprings, South Dakota. Do you need the zip code?”
“No sir, that’s fine. I’m contacting an officer. Could you stay on the line?
“Yes I can. Thank you.”
Time moves as time does. I look around the living room at everything I know is already there.
Tap foot. Shake my own hand. Nice to meet me. Look at dying man. Smile. Pace. Pace. Pace. Light cigarette.
“Hello sir, are you still there?”
“I’m still here.”
“An officer is pulling up to your house now.”
“Thank you miss.”
Hang up phone. Drag. Walk to front door. Open. See lights changing. Red. Blue. Red. Blue. Strobe effect. Officer gets out. Runs up stairs. Hand at side. Like cowboy. Ambulance follows. Men jump out. Run to back. Open door. Gurney. Carrying up steps. Officer in front of me.
“Hello officer. ”
“Sir. Where’s the intruder?”
“He’s in the hallway.”
Step back. Officer enters. Walks through living room. Gun draws. Steps slowly. Points at man.
“You still with us boy?”
Man doesn’t reply.
“You still with us?”
Man doesn’t reply. Emergency men head down hall. Sit down gurney. Check vitals. I toss cigarette to floor. Step it out. See gun. Look back up.
“He’s gone.”
Officer turns. Looks at me.
“Did he have a weapon sir?”
“I’m not sure?”
“What happened exactly?”
“I went to the corner store. Bought some cigarettes and a lottery ticket. Came home. Side door was open. I entered the kitchen. Stated that I was in my home. He came out of no where out of the bedroom, and my reaction is what you see.”
“But he had no weapon?”
“Not that I saw sir.”
Emergency men pick up body. Put on gurney. Carry him out. Officer paces. I light cigarette. He looks up at me.
“Could you please not smoke sir?”
“I’m afraid this is my house, and I’ll do as I please. Thank you.”
“Well I’m allergic. I’m just asking out of courtesy.”
“And I’m replying out of courtesy.”
Bad look. Slightly sideways. Emergency men return. Officer looks at them. Then back at me. Hand starts to side again. I open mouth.
“Don’t move.”
“What the Fuck are you doing?”
“He had this weapon.”
Eyes move to right.
“Don’t move emergency men!”
They stand still. Officer moves hand slightly. I pull trigger. Top of head comes off. He falls to carpet. Emergency men look mad with lunacy.
“Get in here.”
They listen.
“You blonde. Kneel. You brunette. Grab officer’s gun. Five seconds.”
Blonde listens. Brown doesn’t. Blonde dies. Brown listens.
“What the fuck is your problem man?!? I mean what the fuck?”
“Point the gun at me as I point this one at you.”
“Alright… Alright.”
“I started smoking two hours ago. Heh.. Did you know that?”
No reply.
“I asked you a question.”
Brown shakes a little.
“I bought my first lottery ticket today. It’s here in my pocket. You think I’ll win?”
“I…. I .. don’t know…?”
“You ever fired a gun before?”
Silence.
“HAVE YOU FIRED A FUCKING GUN BEFORE!”
“NO!”
“I hadn’t either until today. I’m one hundred percent accurate so far. Two head shots. Two bullets. Heh… I’m pretty good….. Cigarette?”
“What?”
“Do you want a cigarette?”
Brown looks at me queerly. Nods head.
“Okay, don’t fire.”
Guns held on each other. Left hand in pocket. Pulls out two. Put in mouth. Drop pack to floor. Pull out fire. Light both. Step forward slowly. Pull one out. Hand over to Brown. He takes. Puts in mouth. Nods.
We stand in silence smoking. Eyes locked on one another. Guns locked on one another. My smile locked on him. Time passes like it does.
“This lottery tickets a winner. I want you to have it Brown.”
“What?”
“I want you to have it. I’m going to yell fire. When I do. I think you know the rules.”
“Now wait a minute man.. I’m not goin…..”
I yell. Brown fires. Dead man’s gun empty. I fall down. Dying. Smiling. Looking up. Brown grabs walkie from officer. Calls out jibberish. I pull out ticket. Put on floor. Scratch with gun. One bell. One plum. One bell. One animal. One bell. Winner.
….More jibberish……
Thousandaire. Six years. See Sun. Close eyes.
